We were on deployment in the Persian Gulf. The majority of Reactor Mechanical Division was standing watch on a five and dime--five hours on and 10 hours off for the uninitiated--rotation. This was on top of standard work days from 07:00 to 16:00. This is enough background to tell you that coffee--not just a little bit, but massive amounts of coffee--had become the life blood of RM Div.

On one particular watch, our team came down to find the entire off going watch team complaining of headaches. These guys really looked like hammered dog crap. We took the watch and commenced drinking our go juice. A few hours in, we found ourselves more lethargic than normal. Even worse, now the majority of our team members were now sporting nasty headaches. We were tired and irritable when our reliefs took the watch. We went to breakfast and returned to the propulsion plant for quarters.

As we were waiting for our MMC and Division Officer to make an appearance, a late comer arrived with replenishment for our coffee mess. Someone made a comment that this was an opportune moment to make another pot because they were dragging and could really use it.

At this, one ill fated sailor started laughing. "Whatever," he said, "It's all in your head. You've been drinking decaf for two days and nobody even noticed."

A good bruising followed.

- Claude M.